Andrei was my best friend. When we were boys, he lived next door to me and we were inseparable. I admired him for his kindness, his gentleness. He was a good listener, and wise, I thought, beyond his years. But before we reached our teen years, his family moved away. Miami, Florida became his home. He became Americanized. Although we haven't seen much of each other over the past 40 years, our friendship has endured. To this day, I consider Andrei my best friend.
He phoned me on my birthday recently and left a message on our machine. I called him back on Monday to thank him for the call. I promised myself I wouldn't discuss my health concerns, but he asked how I was feeling and I knew he wasn't making idle conversation. I hadn't divulged my IPF to my friend and I made the decision then to include him in my small circle.
As we talked, I could hear the sadness in his voice. He was hurt that it had taken me so long to tell him. And now the discussion was turning my stomach sour. At first, it was nausea. But suddenly, the feeling made a sharp U-turn. I barely made it to the toilet in time.
This stupid disease is affecting me in ways I never imagined. Apparently, I don't need the doctor's pills to experience stomach distress. I know it's only anxiety that turns my stomach, but I wonder if the pills I get will make matters worse.
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Being quick-minded, I deduced from your comment that you might have posted, and I see that you have. I think I am caught up. Actually, I had forgotten all about your blog and even about your condition. I did come back though. That's how it is with me -- decent memory for some things but it requires a jogging.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your prognosis and about the decrease in capacity that you already notice.
I guess you do what you suggested to yourself: live life to the fullest. We all just have today, really, and no one knows the hour. I have sometimes said to Sue that we don't know what's going on inside us and that either one of us could be riddled with cancer. Then it turned out that my BiL does have cancer -- brain cancer of a virulent kind. I don't know where he stands right now. We were in touch and then lost touch and he has been busy moving.
$1000/mo rent is pretty good in a sense. The little townhouse next door is renting for $1500 + utilities. I don't think I could afford to rent. But I know what you mean abut 1000s of $ going down the tube.
Do have a great trip. These days, a day trip seems to satisfy me or at least tire me. Not that I don't also envy you a bit although I know envy is bad and that isn't exactly the right word.
As for atheism. I am. I once wasn't.